===Holding Gently, Holding Tight

Roxanne, “Where ia Taka?’

I, not bothering to look up from what I was doing, replied, “She’s around.”Roxanne, an in-home health care provider, was not convinced. She had been looking for some time. She replied, “You sure? I don’t see her anywhere.”

I was not concerned. Taka had, on a previous occasion, crawled into a drawer and spent the day in it after I, not seeing her, closed the drawer.                                                                She never made a peep. Such was typical of Taka.

When I finally got up to help Roxanne search, it was more out of curiosity than concern. It’s a one-bedroom apartment - two rooms. How many places can a cat hide?

It turned out to be more than I could count. We looked for Taka in every crook, crack, and cranny. We solicited the help of the building management. Other residents came and helped. We walked the building’s halls and stairways - 20 some floors. We searched the outside of the building. No Taka.

This was not like Taka. She is not an adventure cat. To Taka, adventure is running out of the apartment to the middle of the hall, stopping long enough to see if any dogs are out, then running back into the apartment, rolling onto her back with her cat-green eyes begging for a tummy rub. There was no escape pursuit. She was more than content.

We decided to take another pass through the apartment looking for anything we might have missed or that might be a clue into what happened. As I circled the room, my eyes stopped at the balcony door. We had both looked on the balcony more than once, but this time my thoughts went down a different hole - a much-dreaded hole.

The building does not allow pets onto the balconies due to the danger the railings pose, especially to cats. Cats love to jump up onto things.

The problem with these railings for cats is how they are constructed – using polished metal tubing with a gloss enamel finish. There is nothing for a cat to grab onto, to dig its claws into. It’s like jumping up into the air and trying to land on an ice-covered ping pong ba. A cat that tries to jump these railings will find itself sailing down through 12 floors of air. I dreaded the day I found one of my cats had tried it.

I looked out onto the railings. As much as I didn’t want to, I knew I had to. I needed to know. The balcony was empty except for 3 chairs and some not-yet-planted flowerpots. I reached down and unlocked the door, slowly opening it. I stepped onto the balcony and took the 2 steps to the railing, my stomach churning. I took a deep breath and lowered my eyes to the gravel rooftop 12 floors below. 

Before I could see anything, Roxanne exclaimed “There she is!”

I was not seeing what Roxanne was seeing. I asked, “Where?”

Roxanne, “Over there! In the corner.”

I looked to see where she was pointing. It was to the far back corner of the balcony. Only a very sall portion of her back was visible. She was hidden under her fur, her body pressed against the building. She had tucked herself into a spot as far away from the railing as she could squeeze. It was as if she was trying to hide.

Roxnne noticed it first. She asked, “Is she O.K?”

Taka wasn’t moving. There was no sign of breathing. There was no sign of life.

I slowly reached down and touched her. Nothing. She didn’t move.

Roxanne asked, with dread in her voice, “Is she dead?”

I reached down and put my hand on her back and gave it a stroke. Her head jerked up as if startled from a deep sleep. She looked at me with fear in her eyes. She was scared.

I reached down again – this time with the intention of picking her up. As my hands wrapped around her, I could feel her trembling. As I started to pick her up, she jumped. She tried desperately to get out of my grip. It was all I could do to hang onto her, to keep her from going over the railing. Roxanne, seeing I was struggling, grabbed onto her also. Together we were able to get her over to the door and inside.

I sat down in a chair and lifted Taka ono my lap. I held her tight against me. Her whole body was shaking uncontrollably. I gently stroked her like I knew she liked to be stroked.

This was not like Taka. Something traumatic had happened to her on that balcony. What had she become so fearful of?? Why was she so scared? How did she even get on the balcony? I tried to piece together the event I knew leading up to the balcony find:

I have 2 cats – sisters - Taka and Tyka. I’ve had them since they were 8 weeks old. They share a food bowl – always have. Like with me, there’s no particular food schedule. They eat when they eat .

Monday afternoon Roxanne filled the food bowl. .. That evening there was a drone light show amidst the downtown skyline during a thunderstorm ASsuch doesn’t happen every day, I went out on the balcony to video it. I forgot I had cats.

It was dark when I finished videoing. I went back into the apartment locking the balcony door behind me.

 Taka was still on the balcony.

She didn’t make a peep.on their own..

I was in and out of town the next couple of days. Roxanne didn’t work.   The cats were on their own.  When I checked the cat’s food bowl, it still had plenty of food. I hadn’t put it together that there was only one cat eating.

It wasn’t until Thursday - 3 days later - when Roxanne pointed out that Taka wasn’t “around”. I had. hard time believing what happened.

Taka had spent 3 days and 3 nights alone locked outside on a concrete balcony 12 floors up with no food or water. She survived a thunderstorm and overnight temps near freezing. She had, in her five years of life, never spent a night outside, to say nothing of spending it in the city with the traffic, sirens, and all-night city noises.  

There was no way for Taka to escape her precarious predicament on her own …except one. Her only way off was to jump the balcony railing.

Having 3 days go byshe  with no help in sight sjhe would have been a desperation jump. She would have been desperate. Did she try it? Did she try her only hope? How did she stop from going over? How did she survive the scare of her life? I may never know.                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

That night, as I gently stroked Taka, holding her tight, a new image transposed itself over the one I had pictured.

It was of Christ holding me.